Sandra Neish
Jack Manhattan
Harvey Wallbanger
This is NY Representative Anthony Weiner. He is absolutely amazing!
I have nothing to add. (Except I really love this guy and he can stay in office).
February 24, 2011
Investigation Uterus: How the GOP Wants to Peek in Your Lady-Parts
If the police are looking at a uterus, it better be on an autopsy table.
This has been all over the blogosphere before finally breaking into something more mainstream (Jason Linkins over at HuffPo). People, you best pay attention!
Some schmuck down in Georgia (schmuck = Georgia state rep Bobby Franklin) had the brain fartiest brain fart of them all: let’s rip the US Constitution completely asunder, ignore an individual’s right to be secure in their person and send women to ride Old Sparky for having a miscarriage if the state determines it was her “fault.”
read more »
February 22, 2011
Libya! Who cares? We’ve got GAS PRICES!
The Libyan crisis is approaching genocide. Gaddafi declared his intent to fight to his “last drop of blood.” Close to 300 people have been killed protesting his dictatorship. He is ready to have his mercenaries butcher his own people in order to prop up his corrupt, evil regime.
Many overuse the word “evil.” This time, it is well warranted. Any leader who would rather wipe out his own people/country in order to stay in a position of power is not a leader. He is evil and weak. He is a despot and, frankly, an asshole.
It doesn’t shock me or many who follow international news, especially news in Northern Africa, that Gaddafi’s idea of crowd control involves bullets not barricades.
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February 21, 2011
Welcome to 2011
Wow, 2011, Bar Flies.
A lot has happened since we last posted. We here at The Drunk Report have been involved in our own personal lives and haven’t been looking too far past the ends of our noses.
So, we’re starting 2011 now. At the end of February, but as most of you didn’t wake up from your Christmas hangover until New Years and your New Years hangover until Valentine’s Day, I’m pretty sure you’re only just waking up to the internet today and going “Shit, it’s 2011!”
Welcome to our world.
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May 12, 2010
Open Letter to the Conservative Movement
(The following only applies to those members of the listed groups who proclaim they want freedom and lower taxes, dammit, but are obviously full of crap – we’re looking at you, Sarah Palin).
Dear Republican Party, Tea Party and Self-Identified Conservatives:
We HEAR you. Trust us, you are yelling and screaming at the top of your voices and you are heard. We know, we know, you don’t believe us. Here, proof:
- You want LOWER TAXES!
- You want SMALLER GOVERNMENT!
- You want DECREASED GOVERNMENT SPENDING!
- And you want it NOW, DAMMIT!
read more »
May 11, 2010
Dear Mr. President: Grow a Pair!
Dear President Obama:
We here at The Drunk Report were enthusiastic when John McCain did not win the presidency, which is not to say we were your strongest supporters. We were just really, really glad Sarah Palin was not one heart attack away from the presidency. Also, McCain started pandering to the Christianists (who are one home-made, strap-on bomb away from Islamists), and we aren’t fans.
Then, we thought we’d see what you could do. We realized you weren’t George W. “Dubya” Bush and were more thankful than you could possibly imagine. So, we waited.
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May 7, 2010
What the Obama Administration Is Doing For the Gay Community
Well, there’s…….
…….
…….
…….
…….
…….
….yeah, I got nothin’.
April 26, 2010
The Commercialization of Politics
Mad Men should be set in the halls of Congress. After all, no advertisers are better than those who pimp politics. Architects of campaigns come in the shape and guise of advisers, public relations gurus and, lest we forget, entertainment political commentators.
America is a commercial society. A single ad run during the Super Bowl costs an outlandish amount of money and could potentially influence millions. Next time your favorite prime-time television show comes on, look closely at the commercials. They try to convince you that you have a need for their product or service. Don’t forget to look at the program itself. Companies also pay to have their products placed within a show.
read more »
April 16, 2010
Working our way back…
Sorry for the long delay in posting, dear Bar Flies.
I’ve been sick in the worst way for the past month and am only beginning to be on the mend.
We have lots to discuss…priests, Goldman Sachs, health care, Obama, Tea Baggers, et cetera.
Trust…we’ve got it covered. Your drunkety drunk-drunk bar-keeps are on the mend and will be giving you the exclusive scoop of everything through the martini glass in the very near future.
And by “very near future,” I mean starting next week. Gotta find out when Jack is emerging from his birthday haze, but other than that, we’ll be back in the cocktail shaker ASAP! Well, ASAP = post weekend, but you know what we mean.
Lots of Love & Drinks,
Cat Martini
February 28, 2010
Out of Commission
Dear Bar Flies,
Unfortunately, the American healthcare system is failing yours truly and Jack Manhattan at the moment, so this week we will be out of commission.
Please peruse the archives and comment freely.
Thank you for your understanding.
Stay drunk,
Cat Martini
February 25, 2010
Liquid Lunch: Migraine Round 2
Technically, I’m not sure which round I’m on with this migraine, but it’s going Mike Tyson on me! I’m not sure the damned thing isn’t gonna bite my head off in a minute!
Anyway – today’s Liquid Lunch is about Tequila Whisperer and the LIVE show tonight!
There’s a new link to it, Bar Flies, so make sure you update and watch!
February 24, 2010
Liquid Lunch: The Migraine Edition
This Cat has a major headache! Which is why we didn’t have up one of those super-cool vids from Tequila Whisperer…sorry, guys, but until my meds kick in, Jack’s filling in!
So, for Liquid Lunch, I updated the site so we could have stream-lined and drunkety-drunk-drunk-DRUNK all at the same time!
Let us know what you think!
February 23, 2010
Jobs, Jobs, Jobs…GOP FAIL!
I did a little happy dance when I read that the GOP filibuster of the jobs bill got stamped with a giant FAIL notice. It was heartening to see that not all Republicans are willing to toe the party line and screw over America just to further some nitwit political agenda.
All I gotta say now is: it’s about damned time! Grab your tequila shots and take one for the following Republicans who stood up to obstructionist politics:
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February 22, 2010
Dick Cheney Needs To STFU!
Jack has had to deal with the evil known as Comcast (or Comcrap, as we like to call them), so I will be delivering the Monday rant.
Everybody and their mama over at CPAC creamed their pants over Dick Cheney showing up. I’ve never heard cries of “run, Dick, run!” before, but to those of you who were around when Nixon (the first Tricky Dick) ran, it’s old hat. Personally, I wouldn’t scream “run, Dick, run!” at Cheney if, say, some old geezer he was duck hunting with pointed a shotgun at his face. I may point and laugh afterward, but that’s just me.
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February 21, 2010
Lauren on Bad Eggs
Hey, Bar Flies, grab whatever beer you’ve got lying around in your fridge or your buddy’s fridge and guzzle while watching this very Helpful Hint from Lauren, the chef over at Drunken Cooking Show!
February 21, 2010
Weekly Roundup: The CPAC Edition
Since we didn’t devote much (any) article space to CPAC, I thought our Weekly Roundup should cover it. Oh, and it’s all VIDEOS, so click more for some great entertainment!
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February 20, 2010
American Death Shot
Here’s your SHOT for Saturday! And as it looks like health care in America is just about dead, I thought this would be a good shot.
INGREDIENTS:
- Aftershock
- Crème de Menthe liqueur
- Goldschlager
DIRECTIONS:
Pour into shot glass in order listed. Toast to the death of health care. Drink until you don’t really give a shit anymore. Prank call your congressman as his doctor telling him his health insurance has been declined and he owes you $500,000.
February 20, 2010
Liquid Lunch: The Obama “Trap” Edition
Will using budget reconciliation really give us health reform? Or is this more Republicanizing of what we need? Will there actually be health care? President Obama has come up with his own plan. (Crooks and Liars)RC2TY2WASWXH
And of course, Stephen Colbert brings us up-to-date on Republicans’ Political Suicide and the “Obama trap.” (The Colbert Report)
Jon Stewart discusses the “Apparent Trap” as well! (The Daily Show)
February 19, 2010
Liquid Lunch: The International Version
Here’s what’s going on in the world, Bar Flies!
Awww, the poor wittle Chinese people have their wittle feewings hurt by the Dalai Lama! Really? That’s like being offended by Mother Teresa! Get over it, China! (HuffPost)
Fingers crossed that Niger have a democracy in spite of the military coup. (BBC News)
Does Haiti really need more shit happening to it? Rainy season could further destroy the island nation. (NPR)
