THE DRUNK REPORT

The Drunk Report is a satiric, yet serious look at news and politics through the lens of cases and cases of hard, hard liquor.

No matter the story, our proprietor, Sandra Neish, along with our bartenders Jack Manhattan, and Harvey Wallbanger will take it, examine it, mix it with the appropriate amount of alcohol and serve it up for the enjoyment of our readers (or Bar Flies, as we prefer).

We find that American politics is so upside down and room-spinningly crazy that a news RSS feed reads more like a day’s posts at Texts From Last Night.  Frankly, a 24 hour news cycle would make much more sense were we actually inebriated.  (We aren’t really, it’s a literary device called satire…look it up if need be, then come back here and learn how to be a Bar Fly or don’t come back if you aren’t smart enough to grasp the concept).

We regularly call any American elected official a “Drunk Bastard.”

But those GOPer/ultra-conservative types like Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter and George W. Bush get referred to as “fucktards.”

But that’s just us.  We aren’t liberals and we aren’t conservatives.  We’re political drunks who really hate it when fucktards try to tell us (and the rest of the country) which moral code to follow or how we should live our private lives.

And if the DNC doesn’t stop with their pandering soon, they’ll get labeled “asshats.” SPOILER ALERT:  we’ve already started referring to them this way.

Every day is an adventure in, well, we don’t know, it’s stupid and mixed up and sounds a lot like a frat party.  But hey, that’s politics!

If you want to become a Bar Fly, there’s a spot on the Home page for you to sign up.  If you’re a Bar Fly and you want to rant or make a suggestion, hit the Bar Fly page and leave us a comment.  We reserve the right to refuse service to idiots, though.  If you’re a moron, there are other sites for that and they’re usually run by Glenn Beck, FYI.