THE DRUNK REPORT

L’chaim!  Today we drink to our great ally, Israel.  Now, I support the state in its right to exist.  But I also support the truth.  We are the single greatest ally to the State of Israel.  We give them money and support.  We give them unwavering loyalty.  In fact, it is political suicide, on the right and the left to criticize Israel. 

But, my overly sweet wine drinking friend has not been the best of friends.  They repay this unwavering loyalty with deceit.  They spy on us.  We know they do it.  And they know we know, and they don’t care.  Take a shot of Manichevits to this.  They stole–that’s right STOLE!–our nuclear secrets.  They were called out.  What was their answer?  They didn’t care.

They know that we cannot afford them to fall.  This is the original bailout.  We have to ensure the viability of the State of Israel.  The reason for this is a real catch-22.  The West created the State of Israel after World War Two out of guilt for the Holocaust that the West did nothing to prevent, and all but abetted.  In order to do this, the British used their control over Palestine to allow the mass immigration of Jews.  This displeased and displaced the Arabs who were living there.

Admittedly, the British did not simply state, “Hey, Jews, free land!”   However, they did allow the state to form.

Drink up like its Passover, because it gets better.  Now, we NEED the Muslims on our side, and they will never give it to us because we allowed the Jews to run roughshod over them.  We have no leverage over Israel, and they know it.  So, either Israel is too big to fail, or the safety of our nation is too important to put up with this BS anymore.

This is not to say that Israel should be left to its own devices.  It would accomplish nothing for our ends.  However, the Cold War is over, and the tactics of the past have changed.  Either Israel gets serious with us, or we can only do so much in our PR war with the Islamist fundamentalists.

Well, I’m all out of Manichevits, so I’ll switch back to whiskey now.